Have you ever felt like you keep attracting the same type of toxic relationships, no matter how hard you try to avoid them? You’re not alone. One of my clients came to me recently, frustrated and confused about why her relationships kept following the same unhealthy patterns.
She first had a romantic relationship with a friend, which ended after two years due to conflicts. Then she got married, but within two years, she was divorced. Later, she dated another man and found herself dealing with the same issues she faced in her marriage. The constant question nagging her was, “Why do I keep attracting the same toxic relationships?”
The truth is, these patterns often stem from deep-seated beliefs and experiences from our past—sometimes going as far back as childhood.
The Role of Childhood Experiences
As I began counseling my client, we traced the root of her struggles back to her childhood. She grew up in a home where her parents frequently argued, fought, and then patched things up. This became a regular occurrence, shaping her perception of what relationships look like. Without realizing it, this dynamic planted a belief in her that conflict and emotional distance were part of any relationship.
In her adult relationships, she unconsciously sought out similar dynamics, expecting emotional support but finding herself trapped in arguments. The cycle continued with each partner because the belief system she carried from childhood was never addressed.
Breaking the Pattern: What You Can Do
If you feel like you’re in a similar situation, here’s the good news—you can break free from these patterns. The first step is identifying the beliefs driving your relationship choices. Here’s a simple exercise to get started:
Write Down Your Triggers
Grab a pen and paper, and jot down what irritates or triggers you in your current or past relationships. Are you often dealing with dominating partners? Or maybe your partners tend to argue and raise their voices, and that’s something you dislike.Identify the Underlying Beliefs
Now, ask yourself: What belief do you hold that could be contributing to these recurring patterns? For instance, my client believed that her partner should never argue with her. Identifying this belief helped her understand why she kept feeling frustrated in her relationships.Change the Belief
Once you’ve identified your belief, challenge it. Is it realistic? Is it serving you? If not, replace it with a new, healthier belief that aligns with the kind of relationship you want. Breaking old patterns and creating new ones is key to transforming your relationships.
Need Help with This?
If you’re struggling to identify your own limiting beliefs or patterns, don’t worry—it can be tricky to spot them on your own. I offer one-on-one sessions where we use tried-and-tested methods to uncover these beliefs and break the cycle. The best part? You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to create healthier, happier relationships.
Join my WhatsApp group https://chat.whatsapp.com/F1b3yd9Y5D66FJ9wB72R2f for more insights, and let’s work together to build the relationships you deserve!
Signoff:
Remember, toxic relationships are like bad sequels—they’re never as good as the original, and you don’t need to keep watching them. 😉
VasudhaRamesh
P.S. Ready to rewrite your love story? Join my WhatsApp group for exclusive tips and support!
https://chat.whatsapp.com/F1b3yd9Y5D66FJ9wB72R2f
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